Grumpy in Schwangau

Being British, it's not difficult to be grumpy in Germany, but when you end up in a dump of a hotel you just know that you'll find lots to grumble about!

If you've got a daughter under the age of 10 who's addicted to everything pink and fluffy and wants to be a princess, sooner or later you're going to end up in Schwangau visiting the Neuschwanstein Castle because it looks like the 'Disney' castle. To be fair, it does look a bit like a fairytale castle, but I'm not sure that it makes it worth the expense and suffering to go and see a castle covered in scaffolding like it was on our visit.

Neuschwanstein Castle covered in Scaffolding

When you do get to the castle and you manage to park your car in one of the many car parks inconveniently located some distance away, you will then find that that castle is actually situated at the top of a hill! There are 2 options for getting up this hill, sweat your tits off spending 30 mins walking up with hordes of others, or you can partake in some casual animal cruelty and hop in a horse drawn carriage with 20 sweaty strangers and let 2 knackered horses drag you up the hill. Expect to pay anywhere between €5 and €10 for this privilege.

If you actually want to see the inside of the castle (not likely if you're a grumpy traveller) then it costs €12 for an adult. The only saving grace is that it's free for under 18's. The tour is the biggest waste of money as you get to visit about 20 rooms, is done in silence as you all get given an audioguide so that you look like a fool with a telephone stuck to your ear as you walk around. As they conduct the tours in groups of about 30 you get ushered on as soon as your feet stop moving and the tour is over before you know it. You're also not allowed to take any photographs, presumably so that they can sell you an overpriced guide.

Here's a sneaky photo that I took without them seeing :D

 

If you do purchase one of the guidebooks, you will no doubt be as disappointed as I was to find out that construction of the castle only started in 1868 and it opened to the public in 1886. So it was actually built as a tourist attraction and doesn't have any real history!!! I guess it really was the first Disney castle.

 

After you've finished your quick tour of the castle you can buy a souvenir mug of coffee with free cake ( half a mouldy waffle) for only €5 and then walk another 20 minutes up hill to get to the famous bridge across the gorge. You'll know when you're close because you'll suddenly find yourself in the melee of vertigo suffering Japanese tourists too scared to go out onto the bridge to take a photo. Once you've fought your way onto the bridge to get a photo opportunity you'll soon realise why all those Japanese were so scared as the bridge creeks and shakes with the weight of 2000 people on it (see first photo for view from the bridge).

 

After a long day of walking up and down hills and looking at a relatively modern castle that's pretending to be an ancient one, you'll know doubt be looking forward to checking-in to your hotel. That is of course unless you've booked a hotel in Schwangau and even less so if you booked Hotel Scwanstein. I've been here and visited it so that you don't have to, so just don't even bother.

Despite the reasonably good reviews on the usual booking sites, Hotel Scwanstein is old and dated and not particularly clean. The breakfast was at best average, the price was too high and the parking spaces were limited. Schwangau itself is just like the hotel in that it's a bit run down and there's not a lot there.

 

Instead of putting yourself through this, you are far better off staying in Füssen, which by contrast to Schwangau, is a charming little village full of traditional craft shops and groups of people dressed in lederhosen doing impromptu street shows. There are also lots of good bars and restaurants to eat in or to drown your sorrows after another miserable day on holiday. A good, cheap place to stay in Fússen is at Hotel Fantasia. It's a short walk from the town centre, has really good size rooms, friendly staff and offers a reasonable breakfast. Don't let its 2* rating put you off.

 



 

If you do decide to take my advice and stay in Füssen, make sure that you go and eat at Gasthof Krone. It's a medieval themed restaurant where serving wenches deliver massive portions of food and giant steins of beer to your table. Don't be tempted to order a starter and a main because you simply won't finish it all. Watch out for the rubbery mash potato though, you have been warned!!!

 

Not so Grumpy with my beer!



 

Tips For The Grumpy Traveller in Schwangau

• Stay at home
• Don't stay in Scwangau, stay in Füssen instead
• Don't bother with the tour of the Neuschwanstein Castle
• Eat at Gasthof Krone
• Try a biscuit ball, which is a local specialty from Füssen
• Stay at Hotel Fantasia

 

If you've travelled to this part of the country please let me know what you thought of it and share your top tips to avoid being grumpy in Schwangau.